Philippians 4:1-13
My 10- year old son wanted to order a wagon online with the birthday money he saved. We found one on e-bay that looked like a great deal. It was exactly what he thought he needed. I looked at it and thought it was reasonably priced so we ordered it. A few days later it came in the mail, and to our surprise it was a doll size wagon. Why didn’t I look at the dimensions and all the details? The picture was so deceiving. Needless to say, it was not at all what we expected. We were able to send it back for a refund.
We do the same thing in our life everyday. We see people or possessions that look great and we think that’s exactly what we need, only to find out later it wasn’t what we expected. The damage is done to our heart or to those around us and there is no way to “get a refund” in life. We end up living with unmet expectations. How many times have we found ourselves saying these things? I’m not happy with my life, I feel so ugly, I hate my job, if my kids were only like their kids, I wish my husband took me on trips, everyone else gets to, this old car is so outdated, my house is too small….
What does it mean to be content? Being content doesn’t mean throwing up your arms in reluctant acceptance, it means you are satisfied to the point that you are no longer disturbed. Paul is not talking about content with laziness, un-spiritual things or sin. Paul is speaking of contentment with our place in life, possessions, and loved ones. I have found in my life that spiritual growth produces contentment. 
Let’s look at Philippians 4:1-13 and see what the Bible says about dealing with unmet expectations.
Mentor & Motivator (Vs. 1-3) In these verses we are encouraged to get along with others. I realize injustices can bring discontentment, but to the best of our ability we must work on keeping peace. Great joy is found in helping others. Everyone needs a model, a mentor or a motivator, or possibly all 3 at the same time. We often hear the advice that we shouldn’t follow people, but Paul said follow me as I follow Christ. Could someone follow you as you follow Christ? You can always find someone who needs encouragement.
REJOICE (Vs. 4)
Praise God in all circumstances- good or bad. That is easier said than done.
When you get down or start feeling discontent, stop, drop and roll out 10 blessings. Sometimes our expectations are so great that we don’t praise God for the little things in life.
MODERATION (Vs. 5)
Moderation here means -show restraint, not indulgent, avoid extremes. Learn to be content with less materially. Try a spending fast. Make do without going to the store for every little thing. Make a recipe from scratch, plant a garden, eat from your pantry, or stay home. Practice the 1 in 1 out rule meaning if you buy something, get rid of something. If you want a new outfit shop in your closet and create a new outfit with the pieces you have. Maybe downsizing would be a good option for you, clean out your kitchen and donate food items and cooking utensils. Most Americans can downsize their clothing by 75% and still have too much. A smaller house and simple life style can be refreshing. Try changing the messages around you by reducing exposure to social media, TV ads, magazines, and stores. Even our behavior should be moderate. Uncontrolled anger, and extreme mood swings heighten the discontentment in our heart. It is
refreshing and rewarding when you live in moderation.
DON’T WORRY, Just Do It (Vs. 6-9)
God will supply your needs, not your greed’s. Worry is a bad habit. It’s another way of saying “God, you don’t love me, and I don’t trust you.” Rest in Gods provisions. We tend to want God to work out our problems according to our expectations. When our plan doesn’t work we are hit with unmet expectations. Either God is enough, or He isn’t. We trust Him for our salvation but we don’t trust Him to meet our needs. Whenever I try to get ahead of God and make my own way, I find that I regret it. God’s solutions always work out better than my own. God says in His Word to just do it and He will give you peace.
LEARN CONTENTMENT (Vs. 10-11)
We never stop learning in this life. Contentment is a learned virtue that comes mainly by experience. Think about Joseph in Genesis 50:20. “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
We don’t know Gods plans. Don’t dwell on the “should, could, and would” of this life.
Most of us live in the future more than in the present. Live passionately for today. We pursue the treasure at the end of the rainbow and rarely drink deeply at the well of the present moment, which is all we ever have. Circumstances do not make us who we are, but they reveal who we are. We are responsible for our actions, attitude and responses. I’ve heard that “contentment is a state of the heart unaffected by the outward circumstances.”
Contentment is not found in having everything, but in being satisfied with everything we have.
CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE
Happiness is a choice you make every day. For a happy life, want what you have. When we have the doldrums, or hit a plateau in our life, we tend to compare our circumstances with those around us. I have often heard it said that the greenest grass is usually found above the septic tank. So be careful when looking at other people who seem to have everything, you don’t know what is going on underneath. We have so much to enjoy in the life God has given us that comparison will only set us up for disappointment.
Comparison is the enemy of contentment and it does 2 things: It makes you feel better about yourself or makes you jealous. There will always be someone else who possess a greater quality or quantity of what we think we should have. Because of this, comparison leads to covetousness. Instead of loving our neighbors, we find ourselves loving what they possess. Love people, then you will be happy for them. We can be content when we put our hope in His character rather than in our concept of how our lives should appear.
Rely on God’s Power (Vs. 13)
Choosing to be content will only come when you rely on God’s power to change your heart and mind about the expectations in your life. When you set yourself up with unrealistic expectations you will never be content with who you are and with what you have. Sometimes God meets our expectations differently than we think.
Trust God and the process He is taking you through. Live to Glorify Him and then your expectations will become the same as God’s expectations for your life.
Tune My Heart 